"CHEVIOT THROWS BIG BASH FOR RICHARD (THE STANLEY HAMMER) EAST" BY Scoop Jeffrey

Richard (The Stanley Hammer) East bid a fond fairwell to all on his beloved Cheviot House at a big bash thrown by the unit on the occasion of his start in a new career.When asked by this reporter about his career move Mr East stated "it was aboot time forra change" "and aah wud just like ta say its bin a pleasure wokin wi aal the lads 'n' lasses on Cheviot butt aah wud be lying." He leaves behind a legacy of mayhem and mishaps the like of which has never been seen since the Martin Hedley Beresford Era in early 96. Sub Unit Manger Shirl "The Rock Chick" Wakefield said earlyer about the "Hammer" "He is a steady reliable sort of lad when he is sober and I can't believe he is going, He will be sadly missed although not by me or any one else on the unit
"Super Mex Sick of being grassed up!" Exclusive. BY SCOOP JEFFREY

Trevor "Super Mex" Davis has revealed Exclusively to this publication that he is sick of being grassed up by Mark "The Weasel" Stafford. Super Mex said in an interview with this reporter earlier this week "he blows every thing out of all proportion, only last week he grassed me for not shutting the computer down in the correct manner causeng me to be serverely shouted at by the Sub Unit Manger and when I told her he was lying she told me "my man Mark does not tell lies "and I was put on art and craft escort for a week as a punishment." Further investigations in to these allegations are to be made by this reporter and will be published in due course.

In issue 2 Brian"The Fry Up" Gibbon cooks up a storm in the kitchen when he gets his tie caught in the toaster.If anyone has any interesting items or articles please contact Scoop Jeffrey at the City Desk Cheviot
House or Telephone 0898 4283 during office hours (20:10 til 07:43).