Chris "Sheep Sha..." Bell has just decided to sell his last donkey of a car, Paul "The Kid" Shepherd has already purchased his dream vehicle all with the help of free expert advice from Barry "Isum" Jordon. Barry, who is the founder member of the Cars, Roads and Automotive Pricing union or 'Crap' for short, offers free advice on all sorts of driving matters. His form comes from the time he advised this publication on safe motoring and told me in an exclusive interview that he had "received lots of mail from fans after the article". He continued "After that I thought to myself for a while then thought a bit more and after a whole week of thought I decided to form the helpful (C.R.A.P) union, in that time I have advised the rich and famous on all aspects of motoring and even Paul "The Kid" Shepherd" (As seen in the picture with the car Barry advised he bought). In the same interview he said that "Paul and Chris were finding it difficult to find a cars which suited them and after previous experiences needed someone who knew the motor trade inside out and that person was me"!! "Chris told me he didn't want anything too flashy or slow a car that would get him around preferably with a log book and without a turbo this time"! Barry set to work straight away and within hours had came up with Chris "Sheep Sha..." Bells ideal car.....a Reliant Robin! Chris understandable was not happy with this choice and is still in the market for a car and anyone wishing to purchase his car to contact him! Later we put it to Barry that the initials in his union spelt a word and he told us that he was originally going to call it Barrys Auto Sales Trade And Retail Duds (a) Speciality until he realised it was to long!!!!!

SHIRLEY "ROCKCHICK" WAKEFIELD GOES ON TOUR WITH BON JOVI by Scoop Jeffrey

As reported unexclusively last week Kenneth "Panto" (Dobin)son is to become the Temporary Cheviot Chief while our own "Rockchick" goes on a five month round the world tour with rock legends Bon Jovi ! Shirley, who for years has longed for such an opportunity, will be replacing lead singer Jon who has taken some time off to start a family. "Rockchick" was chosen to help out from thousands after the band saw her one night dancing, and playing her air guitar at the Mayfair club in Newcastle. Guitarist Richie Samboro said "Baby, she really can swing"!! Shirley said later on in her best Arnold Swazanager voice "I'll be back"! All the staff on Cheviot and the unit wish you good luck,God Bless and hurry back..