TOMMY "MR SHEEN" WOODMASS PAYS LOTTERY MONEY AND NEXT MONTHS !!! BY SCOOP JEFFREY
In a sensational turn of events Tom"Mr Sheen"Woodmass has paid up his lottery money.He was thought to have done a "Lord Lucan" disappearing act but had been seen wandering the streets of Ashington collecting empty drink cans.When approached he told this reporter that "he had collected enough cans to pay this and next months lottery and to stick that where it hurts" The organizer of Cheviots lottery syndicate speaking from hospital said "Oh that hurts"!

"Super Mex" v "THE weasel"the saga continues this week with the next "shots" being fiired by "the weasel". in a statement released from his brief Hadaway and hadaway TM. they clearly place all blame in the corner of "super mex". this may be so but we will just have to wait and see what "super mexs" team can come back with .what ever it is i'm sure were in for a long battle . may the best man win...

JENNY "I'M A TREE" FORSTER GROWS MOUSTACHE

Jennie "I'm a Tree" Forster had sprouted a fineset of whiskers this week .Rumors were rife on the unit after she was seen sporting the mound of hair on her identity tag.Staff had thought she was doing a bit of charity work for the "Patrick Swayzie Foundation"but on closer inspection it was found that the mass of hair was a fake. When I asked Ms Forster about the "Tash" she told me to"Wind my T..'s in and F... ...!! " Charming!! Whats it to be next? PrehapsChris"Sheep Sh...."Bell with dreadlocks now thatwould be interesting......