'THE STUPID STUNT' "WD40" DIDN'T DO ! EXCLUSIVE by Scoop Jeffrey
Les "WD40" Chapman was called into action last week after Animal Hospital star Rolf Harris had an accident with his Didgeridoo hours before he was due to perform his live show. Worried BBC television producers contacted Les in a last ditch attempt to put the high rating show out on time.
Jack of all trades, Les, is no stranger to the world of entertainment once filling the role of country and western singer Kenny Rodgers. He toured the North East clubs and pubs packing in the punters who wanted to hear his dulcet tones and stardom beckoned for Les, however disaster struck when "WD40" was booked to sing at Ashingtons big night spot The Universal or "The Varsal" as it's know by! When the big night arrived Les was no where to be found, a sell out with thousands packed into the small club for what was advertised as 'The best night out, ever'! Manager of the club then was Bernard Right-on who remembers the night well, "Les was due to go on stage after the 'Twelve inch dwarf', (that wasn't how tall he was I hasten to add) only quality acts were booked for my club, but when the dwarf had finished there was no sign of Les." By this time the crowd had become restless so for the first and only time in the Varsals history free drinks were given at the bar to quell the growing unrest, but still where was Les? Nobody knew until the Chunter investigated the strange disappearance. We traced Les down for yet 'another award winning Chunter exclusive interview'!! (I bet your all getting sick of that line!) Regular readers will no doubt remember that Les has no luck when it comes to motor vehicles. Previous editions have carried various troubles for Les and his 'bangers.' He told us what had happened "Well that night I was driving up to the club when I was offered a better job. Would you believe it but I crashed into Evil Kinevil who just happened to be on Holiday at Sandy Bay caravan park, he was just about to drive over 15 caravans for American Television when I put him out of action with a broken arm. He was very angry as you could imagine and he told me that I had to do the jump for him as I was already donned out in my best Kenny Rodgers costume. I lined the car up to the ramp the cameras were on me, I closed my eyes and turned the keys but nothing happened, it was the story of my life the car had a bloody flat battery!!" Les concluded by telling me that he ran all the way to The Varsal to get away from Evil Kinevils burly bodyguards who had chased him after he bailed out of his car. "I was late but still went out to a full hoose". He was later thanked by the real Rolf Harris for his sterling work as stand in presenter but kindly asked never to do it again, real 'bute' les!