EXCLUSIVE By Scoop Jeffrey

A fishing trip organized last week by Wilma "The Kenyan Queen" Brown was so successful that she plans to become a full time skipper of a deep sea trawler! Invited guests included Captain Brian "Fry Up" Gibbon who came specially dressed for the occasion in full navy uniform, he also brought with him a little old lady from the bottom of his street to pose for photographs as people boarded the boat. Wilma told us, "There's no 'Plaice' like it being on board a fishing boat. The first time I went out to sea I thought to myself good 'Cod' what am I doing, but now I love it and always have a 'Whale' of a time"!! When the anchor was hoisted aboard Brian "Fry Up" Gibbon began polishing his rod and sorting his tackle out! The skipper of the boat had decided to stop off beside some old wrecks just outside the harbour for the first batch of fishing. "There's always good fishing here beside old wrecks", said Malcom "Batman" Cape as he casted off. Amazingly his first bite got snagged on something huge and after 15 minutes of struggling the beast surfaced! Malcom was horrified when out of the depths floated up an old 'G' registered Ford Sierra car which had somehow got attached to his line. Malcom was 'Kippered' and had to take a break while the others continued to fish. Incidentally the car was later traced to Trevor "SuperMex" Davis, he had returned it to the depths of the sea from where it had originally been dredged!! Meanwhile, a fight broke out on board when Wilma misunderstood a crew members innocent request asking if she would like to have some of his 'Crabs'! He was punched in the 'Mullet' by Wilma who told us "He was itching his 'tackle box' at the time, I'm sure he asked me on 'Porpoise' because of the 'Bream' on his face, but 'Eel' not be doing that again after the knockout blow I delivered"!! However, later on the same crew member was attacked yet again when he tried to grab Brian "Fry Up" Gibbons little 'Tiddler' as he pulled it out on the crest of a wave!!! To 'Seal' the day off after a bumper catch a mass drinking session was organized so all could discuss the size of the one that got away! Malcom "Batman" Cape said that they must go to that spot again as there were plenty fish there but he couldn't be sure where it was, Brian "Fry Up" Gibbon piped up at this point and said not to worry as he had "put a cross on the side of the boat to mark the place"! Wilma said "You stupid bugger, we might not get the same boat next time"!!! When the pub closed they all did a 'Conger' to the local fish and chip shop for their fish suppers!!