'FLUSHED WITH SUCCESS' GARY "GARBRIDGE" BRIDGEWATER TAKES ON NEW ROLE. EXCLUSIVE By Scoop Jeffrey

Big butch tattooed super nurse Gary "Garbridge" Bridgewater has finally chucked in the towel and is putting himself out to graze. The illusive pimpernel who made Cheviot Chunter headlines for streaking across the 18th hole at the US masters golf tournament wearing only a tartan jockstrap bids a fond farewell to the unit after 3 years, however he has only ever worked a total of 6 months during his time, not bettering the record which is currently held by another 'Colourful' unit member!! We caught Gary at his new job as deputy toilet cleaner for Mr Muscle during a training session with our new secret camera, he was unaware that we were watching him being taught to clean the kitchen floor and as you can see from our exclusive shots Gary really took a 'shine' to scrubbing!!! Also to note is the tattoo of 'Cheviot Hoose', We asked 'Garbridge' about it and he told us that he had it done as a constant reminder of the time he had spent on the house, however the tattoo artist was a hard of hearing broad Geordie and spelt house as hoose!! He continued "I will miss the old place especially when Coronation Street and Emmerdale are on as I will not be allowed to view such classics! I'll also miss everyone there apart from that bwwwww "Scoop" Jeffrey who has wrote some bloody awful things about me during the past three years, I mean do I really look like the Tango man and where he got Marty Feldman from.....I do not know..."!!! Well Gary we all wish you well in your new venture and remember as the saying goes dont be a stranger...like you have been in the past!! (8 out of 10 unit members said who the Feck is Gary 'Garbridge' Bridgewater

SMALL MEMBERS! As promised last time we have guess the member of Staff.
Here's a clue "Dont Stare at his eyes to long" Also it is not me nor is it someone who you would think of! The picture was sent in my Email and I would never have guessed who it was either. Prize this month is a weeks overtime on villa 11!!!!
Emails to scoopjeff@bigfoot.com with your suggestion to who you think it is and Ill include the strangest answers next time.

CHEVIOT TIMESHARE..NOT FOR VERTIGO SUFFERERS!!
Fresh from his 'success' at last months Cheviot Chunter awards, Darren "Snipper" Armstrong has found refuge in the Cheviot Holiday Timeshare cottage. Situated precariously close to the 100foot cliff side drop it will comfortably sleeps 4 persons to a room!! Other local tenants in this quaint spot include sheep, cows and a couple of randy bulls! However caution should always be taken when using the outside toilet which is about half way down the cliff. Price to follow!!