T-T-TH-THATS

ALL FOLKS

EXCLUSIVE By Scoop Jeffrey

Last orders will be called this week at Cheviot Chunters headquarters when the music will stop for the final time in the hilarious staff moral game of musical wards!! Everything must go and 'house clearance' specialists 'Thorntons Removals' who got the contract for the job have already started things off!! Farewells will be said to Nigel "Big Ron" Atkinson who as already mentioned was poached from Cheviot to star in the remake of 'Blakes 7'!, Darren "Snip per" Armstrong has decided to become a hermit on planet Lindisfarne! while Malcom "Batman" Cape goes to Hollywood to become a professional 'Shaggy' look alike! Judith "Silver Fox" Stephen's has started to teach Annoyance Awareness courses!!, and Neil "Hot-dog" Holdroyd is finally retiring to planet Hadrians retirement dept after turning down the Newcastle United managers job!! However keeping up with tradition a fancy dress party was organised and kindly sponsored by A.C.M.E. with the theme of Cartoon Characters! Most staff attended the 'Do' in lifelike costumes mostly made by that seamstress extroadinare Brian "Fry Up" Gibbon after his success in all the Cheviot Christmas Pantos! Favourites to win were the 'Scooby Doo' gang who had even flown in there secret weapon of Shirley "RockChick" Wakefield from her round the world tour with Rock legends Bon Jovi! Next in were the 'Hair Bear Bunch' lead by Chris "SheepShager(well what the heck! Ed) " Bell with what we thought was the biggest wig in the world on, however he later told us that it was his real hair and had started using a new product called Special Hair Intensity Treatment which he had bought off Trevor "SuperMex" Davis for an undisclosed amount. "Trevor told me to smear it all over my head. He even had some on his head when I bought it last week, problem is it doesn't smell very nice"!!!! said Chris. It was later pointed out to Chris by the 'Scooby Doo' gang that Trevor had sold him a load of Sh**!!!! Then in came "SuperMex" in a painted cardboard box made to look like the Army Surplus Special from the Wacky Races. He was the Sarge and Mark "The Weasel" Stafford played Private Pinkley. When asked why he had sold Chris "SheepShager" Bell a tube of sh** at first he said that he had no comment but later told us in classic Scooby Doo fashion "I would have getting away with it if it hadn't have been for you and those pesky kids"!!!!!!!

Well thats it folks the party is over yet again. Im sure that the rest of us who are left at planet Cheviot will join in with me by wishing the staff that are leaving the very best of luck. I also take this opportunity to welcome the new staff to the team and hope they will enjoy there time here. Cheers. See you all on September 30th for the' mother of all leaving do's'