TREVOR "SUPERMEX" DAVIS STEPS INTO THE 20TH CENTURY!!

EXCLUSIVE By Scoop Jeffrey

Cheviot Houses very own Brad Pit(bull) look alike and fashion victim Trevor "SuperMex" Davis took a huge leap into the 20th century this week with the launch of his very own range of clothes for men, know simply as 'The Full Shinaley' !! Experts from around the world have been trying to get a glimpse of the new product range which includes a revolutionary vest with a back pocket, a grey hospital issue suit jacket with the pockets stitched up!, and the infamous pinstriped trousers set complete with gusset attachment for extra wear and tear!! (Plus a free weld up at any garage if needed!) Also featured was Chris "SheepSh...." Bell modeling the pipe smokers jacket, he said that "SuperMex" only has 3 shirt's one for working on Cheviot the blue off duty one and the overtime shirt which at the minute is almost threadbare!! As well as the over clothes there is to follow a range of self cleaning underpants that can be worn for 6 months at a time, however they will come with a government health warning attached!! "Supermex" told us that he had been in meetings with 'Calvin Klinger' the famous underpants' man but he refused to have a zipper on the rear of the pants for easy access!! When we interviewed "SuperMex" last week he was sporting a small goatee style beard and a new red jacket which he was rather suspicious about explaining that Mrs. "SuperMex" had purchased it for him..."Shes never buys me anything so she has either done something or is about to do something with my cheque book". Further investigations lead us to PC World, where we found Mrs. "SuperMex" purchasing a huge pile of computer software!! with Trevs Overtime money!

STAND ASIDE THE 2 RONNIE'S WE'VE GOT THE "2 IAN'S"!
Comic duo the "2 Ian's" that's Ian "Spit, Grunt, Fart" Thorp and Ian "Is that the time" Hamilton have been scheduled to do a show at the newly revamped Cheviot Fictional Hall next week in aid of drinking. Tickets are priced at 2 pints and a whiskey chaser for adults and a half bottle of rum for Children!!! OAPs can get in for free providing they can show there Blue Peter badges and there arses in Fenwicks window!! More to follow on this story next Issue.