NEIL "HOTDOG" HOLDROYD PEDALS FAST FOOD IN JERSEY

BY SCOOP JEFFREY

Sightings have been reported of a man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Neil "Hot-dog" Holdroyd selling fast food. Initial reports suggested it was the famous entertainer "Chris Evans" but further investigations revealed it was our own "Hot-dog" Holdroyd moonlighting in the tax haven of Jersey. He told me on his return to the North East that he had only been away for a weeks holiday when a man offered him a Million Hot-dogs for his wife in an "Indecent Proposal" style deal. He continued by telling me to "get stuffed" and that he "would provide the finger bun ". This is not the first time he has been involved with fast food. In the early 80's "Hot-dog" got his nickname when he and his brother sold all kinds of food from a roadside van, this was later closed down by the health inspectors!

MASTERMIND CHAMPION COMES CLEAN AT LAST.

EXCLUSIVE by Scoop Jeffrey

I can Exclusively reveal Barry "Isum" Jordan was the Mastermind Champion of 1985. Barry told me yesterday "You've got the wrong bloke I think." "I've never even met Magnus before". Barry who's specialist subject was the life and times of Shakin Steven's scored 24 points with no passes. Well done Barry thats something to be proud of!

BONJOUR "MAD"-AM
When traveling to work last week Judith Speakman Aka Mrs Doyle from Father Ted rang the number on the Cones Hotline sign she saw on the roadside and asked for "aflake 99 with raspberry sauce go on go on go on" "Imagine my embarrassment" she said "when I found out it was the Governments road information line." OH FIK !