CHEVIOT FOOTBALL TEAM UNVEILED TO PUBLIC !

EXCLUSIVE By Scoop Jeffrey

All the latest players were on display this week when the Cheviot Football Team revealed their new strips for the up coming season. Manager "RockChick" said of her team "this is the best team I've managed to put together with a few exceptions." There were a few changes with last minute transfers to other houses namely "Spit Grunt Fart Thorpe" who due to a unfortunate accident with a broomshank had to pull out with seconds to go !! Other missing faces included Alan "Sicknote" Green who is still having difficulties with an old war wound and "Mines apint" McNally who had to go early in time for last orders !! One new face to the Team was Paul "Speedy" Easton making his debut for the Team as personal fitness instructor along with Duncan "Black Cockerel" Henderson who makes his return to the team getting his name from an incident involving Mr. Wan King and a black rubber glove!! Injuries have plagued the team in the past and one face still missing was Gary "Jonah Lumu" Bridgewater who is currently recuperating on the sunshine Isles the Team wishes him well.
Judith "Mrs. Doyle" Speakman also a new comer on temporary transfer scored an own goal in the first game and had to be substituted when she received a yellow card for hand ball in the box !!! but the team still won with a cracking goal from Darren "Snippier" Armstrong who lobbed the goal keeper from two yards then fired home a blank !!!

The result: Cheviot F.C. 2 Welbeck Retirement Home 1

CHRIS "SHEEP SHA..."BELL WINS OVERTIME TROPHY.
This years winner of the overtime championship goes to Chris "Sheep Sha..."Bell just beating Diane "The Decorator" Bruce by only half an hour ! Diane has asked for a recount due to persistent lateness from Mr Bell . "RockChick" Wakefield is to review the situation and will take into account that "Sheep Sha..." has recently purchased a new Flying machine or has he!!!! Chris has recently sold his clapped out Fait to our friend Les "WD40" Chapman who used it to tour the streets of Amsterdam during last weeks riots. I think theirs a story in that one !!! Meanwhile Chris is making no comment..